First let me start off by saying happy New Year. I’ve been so busy and focused on so many different things that every time I sat down to write a new blog post I literally nodded off. 2018 has just started and already I’m feeling so happy, positive and ready for the months ahead.
I’ve had a couple females ask why I write & my answer was I write for me. Its therapeutic and allows me to get things off my chest in a creative way. Upon writing & blogging I realised that a lot of other females related to the things I was going through during my pregnancy & becoming a mother so I continued. Allowed me to connect with other mothers again and give up with support and for that I’m happy.
I’m so excited to see what’s coming & I am more than ready to start putting in some serious work. When I was pregnant I had an idea for a business that I wanted to start but my health wouldn’t allow me to endure the journey at that point. Now I have a one-year-old, I am more than ready to start putting in some serious work. I started my new year with my son, family and loved ones and for the first time in a couple of years, I’m feeling mentally spiritually and physically strong. I am currently in the process of getting ready to launch Real Intimate LDN, my lingerie line. It’s been amazing to build & I can’t wait for the launch! I’ve had some amazing support and cannot wait to watch it grow!
So I’m currently the lightest that I’ve been since I quit breastfeeding. For those that have been following my journey, I lost two stone during my pregnancy due to being unable to stomach a lot of food however I did gain some of it back up when I had my son. I breastfed my son up until he was four months old & luckily have not hit my prepregnancy weight. In September after my 24th birthday, I decided to stop eating meat and become a pescatarian (I only eat fish). I had a relaxing meet over the Christmas period however from the 1st of January have gone back to the pescatarian life. I find I have more energy, wake up easier, have a better digestive system, Get less gas and indigestion & don’t feel heavy after big meals no matter how full I am. I am 4 kg lighter than I was in September and I plan to lose another 20 kg which is equivalent to just under 4 stone. Just by making changes to my diets I’ve achieved some good results and I can just imagine how much better I will feel and look once I have a regular workout the team to accompany it. 2011 body here I come! The changes I’m making are For a healthier and fitter me however I wanna look great too. During my pregnancy I did a lot of walking and stayed very very active and continued to do so since I’ve had my son. I realise my endurance is a lot better and can’t wait to see me at my best 💪🏾
Makhairo is now 1. Yes you heard right, a whole year old, 365 days 52 weeks old. My baby is no longer baby. It’s made me realise how precious time is and how quickly it goes by. I still remember my labour and giving birth to Makh like it was yesterday and now I have a cheeky full of character & attitude 1 year-old little King. I cannot believe just how much hes grown, it’s unbelievable! From a 5 pound 9 baby to and the 15 pounder he is now, my boy has come such a long way. He is currently trying to walk (2,3 steps and he says that’s enough for the day 🙄😂) And crawls at the speed of light. Anywhere I go I have to look back before I step back because 9/10 Makhs is right behind me. He absolutely loves the Hoover and any time I take it out he wants help me. he’s also a big fan of the mop and bucket, I have to make sure that I don’t leave it unattended anywhere in the house otherwise he thinks it’s time to play splash splash 😂 All in all he’s a happy baby and he likes up my day with ease. He’s also very caring and cannot be gentle when he wants to be but majority of the time he is a boy’s boy and plays rough as hell🤦🏾♀️😂 I appreciate him having his older cousin is around because he interacts so well with different people and age groups. Makhairo is So tall already and takes after his dad in so many ways from the looks to attitude. Still can’t believe how blessed I have been with such a beautiful little king. He will be going to nursery this year and it makes me really nervous however I know he needs to go for social reasons I will support him as best as I can. I have a primary school within walking distance of our home so I’ve been looking into their nursery and it would be great if he could go there as he would get priority to go into their reception when the time is right. Makhs eats absolutely everything and I can tell that he’s going to eat me out of house 😂He had his first solids at four months and he stopped eating baby food a 10. He also has drunk oat milk & continues to drink that now. He has 7 teeth & counting (top 4, bottom 3 & another coming through). He also feeds himself is scared to come and pick something off of my plate 🙃 If he does have Jews he normally has a 100% pressed to squeeze juice no concentrated but drink his water. When he’s teething he does have a funny sleep pattern & does get a runny belly where he will wake up in the middle of the night & I have to change him 2 or 3 times. However when he is well, he normally sleeps through the night & is put down between 7&8 (I aim for 7.30pm). He will then get up the next day between 9&10am. He also has tantrums & has been put on timeout (5mins in the cot is a lifetime) & he understands that he was naughty. He is literally perfect & I couldn’t imagine life without him.
I think disciplining kids is so key and different kids respond to different methods of discipline. You have to find what works for you & your child. Being raised in a traditional Jamaican household I was more than familiar with getting a slap or two however I wanna take a bit more of a different approach when it comes to Makhairo & any of my other children. Do you believe in giving him a slap on the hand or foot however I don’t believe in beating of children ridiculously or with other objects. I think it installs fear in your children & when they do something wrong or do need help when they’ve made a poor decision they won’t come to you. Hopefully discipline him from a young age will make it easier as he grows. Also I think it is important to explain when your children get older why they’re in trouble and what they’ve done wrong a lot of children are disciplined will be taken out of anger but don’t actually understand why. We are living in the world now where young Black men are being killed all over the world & I think it is important for me to explain and also teach my son about authority and his rights. It’s also important for me to teach him about his heritage his culture and his worth. I’ve realise especially in my adolescent and adult years that a lot of young men do not deal with rejection well and many of them are very angry. I’ve also come to understand that domestic violence And abusive partners are more common than we realise. My job is to teach my son how to love. Love himself, love me, his family & at some point his woman. I want him to be strong & I want him to be able to stand on his own 2 feet but I also want him to know that he is no less of a man to show emotion when he is hurting. A lot of young black men are taught to never show emotion as it’s a sign of weakness and unfortunately when they do go through things don’t speak and they hold it in which can be a contributing factor to mental health issues.
I am so grateful and appreciative of the motherhood journey I’ve had so far and cannot wait to see what amazing things my son is going to do. Your son has given me a purpose motivation and so much more than he will probably understand for a very long time. What really annoys me is that going to be the things I’ve been through on expenses I’ve been to some people expect you to just be happy or to get over things and unfortunately trauma doesn’t work like that. It is an ongoing battle when you’ve been cheated on, lied to & manipulated & I think people need to understand the long-term effects it can have not just on relationships but within yourself.
People want to sit & make so much judgements on how you feel & your emotional & mental state & I just want people to know that are going through something similar you’re not alone And you will heal in your own time. There is nowhere in the Bible the laws of the UK or the world that tells you you must get over being mistreated within a year, 2 years, 10 years or a lifetime. Remember Rome wasn’t built in a day & you are a work in progress. I’ve had people that have been part of the pain & done me wrong expecting me to act a type of way or be over things in a certain time frame & my message today is f**k you 🖕🏾
To overcome some of the things you’ve gone through will be dependent on you as a person the support you have around you and experiences you will go through after it. But surely you will get there, hopefully sooner rather than later. Dating since having my son has taught me that I don’t wanna be in a relationship right now & that I’m just focusing on me, my son & my business. I do go out on dates, the cinema, dinner, bowling ect however I like chilling out with the girls & my family & just really getting back to loving me. Take as much time you need to fall in love with yourself again only then will you be able to find inner peace & grow. When the time is right you will meet & be with the right person but just make sure you’re solid with you. I was meant to return from maternity leave next week but I handed in my resignation. Time to fufil my dreams & start living them. Time to make them a reality.
– A Happy & Evolving Muva Nae 🌸