I’m literally at a point where I’m wondering if I’m coming or going. The only thing that makes me happy, is my beautiful boy. His smile literally lights up the room & he makes my heart so warm. I could never give up or stop pushing because he motivates me, effortlessly.
One day, I feel like I have everything together & I’m on my way to great things and other days I wake up & have to force myself to get out of the house. Mental battles are harder than physical ones & the reality is, it’s just part of life. At some point you’ll wonder where you took a wrong turn but it’s about how you get back on track. A lot of people take for granted that as I am quite strong minded with a sharp tongue that I don’t hurt. WRONG. People need to remember, I am human. I am a woman. I have feelings.
First things first, remove “them”. And when I say them, I’m referring to those who offer nothing but negativity or darkness. I’ll be honest, I can be real petty & my savage side be on fleek but nowadays if I can’t laugh at it, I don’t take it in. There’s people who have tried to trash my character & attack my womanhood and the reality, because I’m strong enough, I haven’t allowed their toxic thoughts to affect me. But I think it’s important to understand how our words can damage another person and their mental health. I can hold my hands up and say my mouth is wreckless at times (to say the least), but during my pregnancy & since having my young king, I realised just how much my words can hurt others. We never know how much of it they take in, how strong they are or aren’t, where they are in life ect. So sometimes I try to think twice about what I say. Honestly, the things I’ve heard people who don’t even know me on a personal level say has been harsh but those who know me I don’t need to explain!
Another thing I started doing was explaining myself less & less. I explain to who & when is necessary. It’s made me a lot happier & allowed myself to live in peace without anyones judgement or opinion overshadowing me. I also learnt to stop explaining things that were unimportant to irrelevant people. For example, some people want to know who I’m seeing 😂 these times its non of their business 🌚 We’re in a world where people are happy on instagram but battling depression in real life. Don’t buy into the hype. Don’t try to create the “perfect” image. Some pretend they have a perfect partner, or perfect job, or perfect life & when the smallest thing happens it pushes them over the edge.
I’ve had to appreciate myself when no one else did. It’s ok to look at your own progress & pat yourself on your back. Last year I was wasting my energy on a relationship that had ran its course. Last year I wanted to fight nonstop. Last year I thought I had so much to prove. Last year has gone. This year, I am calm, laughing, smiling & enjoying. As a result, I am glowing!
You don’t simply forget about everything you’ve been through, you just learn how to cope with it. Whatever it is, you can get through it! I promise you. Different scenarios will have different routes to happiness but you’ll get there. Don’t be afraid to ask for help/support.
Don’t stress! Youre where you need to be. You will become who you’re meant to be! You’ll meet who you need to meet! You’ll go where you need to go! Just keep being you!
So recently I started a whatsapp group chat with some other mothers from my insta page. Although we have diffferent views & don’t agree on everything, it’s nice to connect with other people who can relate to each other & not tear each other down.
Keep trying to be a better version of yourself, the answers will come with time.
– A growing Nae 🌸