Not feeling Christmassy…🌸

So I’ve been feeling rough all week. I was in hospital & got great results, I am not at risk of having a blood clot. 💃🏾 The chest pains I’ve been suffering are pulled muscles in my chest which are causing the tightness & making me get out of breathe. It’s still painful & absolutely exhausting but my lil man is happy & healthy & that’s all that matters! 

Mentally this week I’ve been irritable to say the least & very stirred up. Haven’t been excited about Christmas & had very little patience. I’m so uncomfortable at this point that I’ve questioned my strength & I’ve even started to dislike being pregnant. I wouldn’t say I have regrets, and I’m a strong believer in everything happening for a reason, but I’m at a point where I’m not enjoying my journey anymore & the prospect of life after he gets here is starting to make me uneasy. I know I’ll always do what I see best, but what if that’s not best?  The reality is I physically prepared for everything. That’s the easy part. But the emotional I have no idea how to manoeuvre and manage it. It’s a day by day process now and all I can do is hope for better. I’m used to plans and knowing my next move and this is one journey I have no control over & how the outcome will be. I guess that’s what’s making me nervous. 😩 I guess it’s just nerves but everything is hitting me all at once. 

With my mind so clouded I normally throw myself into keeping busy but with recent events I have been warned to rest so I’m stuck lol. Me, alone with my thoughts is driving me mad but I’m so glad I came to family for Christmas & New Years. So I’ll take the time to stuff my face, enjoy their company & rest as much as possible because when I get home, nesting is in full effect. I’m dying to go home, set up his crib & do the final touches before his arrival. With less than 50 days to his due date & being warned he’s gonna be early, I plan to be feet up within the next couple weeks.

Let the countdown begin…….⏱


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